Memorial: Monday, March 7, 2016 @ 5:00PM
Location: Pauline A Hartford Memorial Chapel, Children's Hospital of New York. 165th and Broadway (enter via the "Children's Emergency" entrance and come through lobby to the courtyard)
Reception (immediately following): Apartment of Heather and Benjamin Grizzle, 311 Amsterdam (at 75th Street), Penthouse A, New York, NY
posted by Rachel
We weren't expecting to deliver at 25 weeks, so we were caught unprepared in so many ways. We'll have time do deal with much of our "to-do" list while the babies are in the NICU, but naming our precious children got bumped to the top of the list the second they were born. Friends and family served as a good reminder of that need with their constant requests for names (all for good reason!). So here goes...
Audrey Hedditch Haughey (Baby "A")
Will and I both loved the name Audrey and thought the first letter was fitting for Baby "A". Then we looked up the meaning: noble strength. I don't think there could have been a better confirmation for us than that. Audrey has been the strongest of the crew from the start-- she's "flying" according to the vernacular of the experienced NICU nurses. Although they were all breathing on their own at first (such a blessing!), Audrey is the only one who didn't end up needing to be intubated. She and her sister were the smallest (1lb 9oz at birth), but that hasn't stopped her. She's been the first for a handful of small milestones in the NICU already, and we're praying that her strength continues throughout her life.
Hedditch-- Will's family is from New Zealand. His mother's family immigrated there several generations ago. If you trace their family tree back to that first matriarch, you arrive at the maiden name Hedditch. Anyone who knows this maternal line knows that it is full of strong, faithful women of God. We pray that Audrey's strength goes way beyond the physical strength on display now. May she have God's strength as she looks to and depends upon Him always.
Thomas Harcourt Haughey (Baby "B")
Thomas-- Thomas is the name of Will's paternal grandfather. So many of Will's early childhood memories in New Zealand include "Puppa", particularly at the family beach house. He was an architect, and I think there's a part of Will that has always longed to pursue that profession as well. Tom Haughey was a risk taker, also remarkably brave (for the gospel), and Will's Dad recounts an incredible story of how he once filled a sailboat with Bibles and sailed them up to Fiji, only to encounter and survive a hurricane en route. Will has such a deep love for the Thomas we encounter in the Bible -- known sometimes as a doubter, he was actually honest with himself and his Maker about his doubts and desired that God would "help him in his unbeliefs." Thomas also means "twin," and we hope Thomas always knows-- even as he's surrounded by girls-- that he has a "twin" brother who has gone ahead to be with Jesus.
Harcourt-- Harcourt is Will's wonderfully unique middle name. I pray that this boy would grow up to be the man of God that Will is and that he would know his father is so proud of him already. "Court" means brave, and I pray that he would know that full surrender to God is the bravest stance of all. He has three sisters, so hopefully he gets his dad's EQ as well!
Joseph William Haughey (Baby "C")
Joseph-- We actually had somewhat decided in our minds on the names for the boys, but when baby "C" was about to leave us Friday morning, we gave him a different name on the spot. His life had been full of hardship already. At 18 weeks, we learned of his critical congenital heart defect. An extremely premature birth (he was 1lb 11oz at birth) is a tough road for any baby, but it was elevated to a different level for him given his heart. Shortly after birth, he needed a blood transfusion because of blood loss at his umbilical cord. It seemed like everything was just piling on for little Baby "C". I was reminded of the story of Joseph in the Bible. At times, I'm guessing Joseph (Jacob's son) felt like God was absent. But we know that He was so very present all throughout and that although others meant him hardship for selfish reasons, God used it for good. His plan for that Joseph was bigger than anyone else could have seen in the moment, and it involved so many others as well. Similarly, we had certainly prayed for different outcomes for our Joseph amidst his hardship. Although we can't see as God does now, we know that His plan was and is good and perfect for him and us as well. We later discovered that the meaning of Joseph is "increase" or "addition", and we cling to this as well. We're grateful that Joseph has been given a fullness of life in Heaven that is greater than anything this world could ever offer. He has a perfect heart now and is able to be forever with his Creator-- the author and sustainer of all life.
William-- During the time that we were able to hold sweet Joseph in our arms before he died, he was free of wires and tubes, and we were able to see all of the perfectly formed features God had given to him. He was a good looking little boy, and we were so proud of him. In these fleeting moments, we saw a bit of my dad in him and so gave him the same middle name as my dad. I think my dad, a Godly man of such gentle strength, certainly topped the list of prayer warriors for this little one as well, so we're grateful that he can be a namesake too.
Charlotte Elisabeth Haughey (Baby "D")
Charlotte-- The name Charlotte comes from the name Charles, and Charles is the name of Will's maternal grandfather. He was a positively meek man and a man of prayer. "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth." (Matthew 5:5) We pray that our Charlotte will have that same gentle spirit and continual dialogue with her Father in Heaven. She is the smallest of the crew at this stage and the last one to remain intubated, but she has been steady. May she also be steady in her walk with Jesus throughout her life. Finally, there are a few sources that showed the meaning of Charlotte to be "little and womanly," and that is so fitting for our truly petite Charlotte.
Elisabeth-- Elisabeth is the middle name of Will's mother Helen. She is the youngest of four, and Charlotte is technically the youngest (last born) of the quads. Helen has the attributes of her father Charles as well and is an incredibly strong woman of God. We pray that these character traits would be passed down to Charlotte from an early age.
We had grown accustom to referring to them as babies "A", "B", "C" and "D", so we still catch ourselves using their letter instead of their name at times. But I don't imagine it will take long before we're using nicknames of their newly given names. We are so blessed to be parents of all four of them-- and our sweet one year old Hannah as well.
Dear friends,
It was with joy that we welcomed four children into the world on Wednesday afternoon. Yes, we are parents of quadruplets (1/700,000 births), and so proudly so. And no, it doesn’t run in our family (or anyone else’s, for that matter!). Unfortunately, our children were born incredibly premature at 25.5 weeks, each weighing 1.5 to less than 2lbs. Going into the delivery, Rachel and I both feared for our newborns; Rachel had done all she knowingly could to stave off the labor as much as possible, including hospital bedrest. Thankfully, the delivery was seamless and Rachel’s recovery incredibly quick. We were so blessed to have two boys and two girls, later given the following names:
- Audrey Hedditch Haughey (baby A)
- Thomas Harcourt Haughey (baby B)
- Joseph William Haughey (baby C)
- Charlotte Elisabeth Haughey (baby D).
Babies "A, B, C and D” (as they were affectionately known in our prenatal ultrasounds) were born without full development of their organs, especially their lungs, and one of our sons ("Baby C", Joseph William) was born with a rare congenital heart defect known as Truncus Arteriosus We had been informed of his heart concern earlier in the pregnancy and had been seeking the best care available knowing that he would need open heart surgery within weeks of his birth, assuming he could get to a proper size and weight. Thankfully, all babies were put on critical support (via the capable, loving hands of 35 people in a crowded delivery room) on Weds immediately following their births and were amazingly stable for their condition and gestational age. It was difficult to see the children — they looked so unformed, and yet their faces and limbs were so perfectly unique like any child’s.
Early Friday morning we received a call that Joseph’s lungs were beginning to fail. Upon arrival, it was clear that he would not make it. We elected to have all support withdrawn and enjoyed one of the most joyful moments of our lives with our son before he passed fifteen minutes later in our arms. We wept and mourned his passing, but committed him to God then and there with joy in our hearts. We were lovingly joined in this moment by Will’s parents and Rachel’s brother, John.
Tomorrow (Monday, March 7 @ 5:00pm), we will celebrate Joseph’s short life in a small memorial service at Columbia University/NY Pres’ Pauline A. Hartford Memorial Chapel on their campus at 165th and Broadway The service is open to all and will afterwards be followed be an open reception hosted by our Hannah’s (20 months) Godparents, Heather and Benjamin Grizzle, at 311 Amsterdam (near 75th Street), Penthouse A. Any and all are welcome at either or both event. For the reception, please rsvp (morning) to Heather at heathergrizzle@gmail.com.
Now, the fight is on for the three that remain. Audrey, born 1lb 9oz, has been leading the pack, or as the nurses say, “flying". She’s our pacesetter, and unlike her siblings, has never needed endotracheal intubation. She is already being fed small doses of mama’s milk. Thomas, born 1lb 15oz was extubated over the weekend and is doing quite well. His brain sometimes forgets to remind him that he needs to breath, so we’re taking it one day at a time (they actually give caffeine to quicken the brain in these instances…). Thankfully, he too has started to feed. And our dear Charlotte, born the same size as her sister, is bringing up the rear. She’s the fairest of them all, and we’re hopeful that she will be extubated tomorrow. These babies have a long road ahead of them (~14 more NICU weeks), and we’re so grateful for the competent staff at the Columbia NY Pres NICU. Their expertise, care and compassion is just so dear to us. There is really no way to properly thank those who are literally holding your children's lives in their hands.
We look forward to seeing many of you tomorrow at the ceremony or reception.
Me: "I'm pregnant."
Friend: "Congratulations!"
Me: "Thanks. There are four of them."
Friend: "What?!"
… wait while friend figures what to say next …
Friend: "Do quads run in your family?"